That is where my head is today.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

The Muted Pain

Have you ever felt muted pain? The pain you feel but can't express because you don't understand it. I know that this person's actions should not affect my emotions but I don't know how to stop it. Muted pain. Silent pain, but still recognizable. I can understand real pain because it is usually encased in anger. A pain that is a reaction to someone's wrong doings, but muted pain comes from MY expectations of HIS reactions to MY emotions. Emotions that he may not reciprocate. It always irritates me when people try to make their perception my reality, but that is exactly what I did to him. The signs were there or maybe I misread them. More times than not I cause my own muted pain.


 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i understand. it sucks. it happened to me too, broke up ( on some strange reasons, im still confused about it but the next i see is that he has a new gf on fb) anyways, i thought he was different but thats what i get for having expectations.

TML said...

Your not alone doll. We want what we want and we can only see what the heart allows the brain to see. It does suck when you trust your heart with another and the mishandle it everytime. Many times I think to myself that LOVE is just a word and no one actually expresses the true definition of what love truly is. We are to gaurd our hearts at all times and not allow anyone to enter until they have shown themselves approved of our love. Good luck

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Oklahoma City, OK, United States
Single mother, approaching 30 and wondering what happened to the woman I thought I was, and who is the woman that I am. I believe that running away is not the same thing as letting go. This blog will allow me to let go...

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